NSFW. HELL YES! I've been waiting for this movie forever. The original is one of my all time favorites. The only downside....no Willem Defoe, but I'll deal with it.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
My 21 Worst Sequels Ever
Since I still can't get over the sheer disappointment of Rob Zombie's Halloween 2, I decided to make a list of the worst and most disappointing sequels ever. Since you can't rate AWFUL they are in no particular older as they are all horrendous. Here it goes....
Matrix Reloaded
I know Revolutions was worse especially with the whole underground rave dancing thing, but this one started the downfall. How can you mess up a groundbreaking monumental piece of cinema like The Matrix? Add in too much over your head philosophies and dialogue so bad that it made Keanu's other movies sound like Shakespear.
Star Wars Episode I: Phantom Menace
This movie proves George Lucas only cares about his wallet. He shit on the fans with this one. He waited over 15 years to make a boring movie with some of the worst dialogue I've ever heard. Not to mention he created the most annoying character ever put to film, Jar Jar Binks. Meeeesa thinksa this movie sucksa!
Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare
Freddy jumped the shark with Nightmare on Elm Street 4: Dream Master. That movie turned a sinister horror icon into Freddy Dangerfield. But this one was so embarrassing to watch that I only saw it once. This one had the most ridiculous kills ever seen in horror cinema. Super Mario death and death by hearing aid. They tried to cap it off by ending the movie in 3-D which was terrible. Freddy's Dead? Not quick enough.
Halloween Resurrection
As I previously stated, I hate everyone having to do with this movie being made. Busta Rhymes beating up Michael Myers is the most horrendous idea ever. And Michael Myers' mask looks like that cheap replica you can buy at Spencer's Gifts during halloween. The sad thing is that this movie was directed by Rick Rosenthal who also directed Halloween II (1981) which I adore. He must've developed a crack habit somewhere along the way.
The Godfather Part III
They should've left it alone. Godfather 1 and 2 were literal perfection. They couldn't be made any better than what they were and are true masterpieces. But then Hollywood got greedy and released this trash. Many blame Sophia Coppola's terrible acting for the downfall of the movie. But it wasn't just that. It's also the mafia/Vatican plot. It's ridiculous not to mention boring. Godfather 2 is the last Godfather ever made in my eyes. They made an offer I DID refuse.
Lost Boys: The Tribe
Corey Feldman needed a check bad. Obviously. I mean that dude would put his face on a box of Huggies if he could get money for it. The Lost Boys sequel was supposed to have been made more than a decade ago. But Haim and Feldman's drug issues made it impossible. So in a way, karma's a bitch. Honestly, I would've loved to have seen Corey Haim and Feldman reunite once again to face off against trendy bloodsuckers. Haim got dropped from the movie (except for a ridiculous and SAD cameo), and Feldman is barely in it. The ENTIRE movie from start to finish was terrible. I knew it was going to be bad but I gave it the benefit of the doubt due to my love for the first one. Why do I listen to my heart?
Jaws: The Revenge
A shark follows members of the Brody family from New Jersey to the Bahamas, hell bent on revenge for killing the previous 3 sharks. It's probably the most absured plot in movie history. Not to mention the shark coming out of the water on it's tail like a dolphin and roaring. Yes ROARING.
Batman & Robin
Joel Schumacher's sexuality should be questioned after this movie. Batman with nipples?? Need I say more?
Exorcist II: The Heretic
Some, but not me, consider The Exorcist to be the scariest movie ever made. I've only seen the sequel once but that's all it took. I don't remember a lot about it. I remember Linda Blair being hooked up to a mind reading machine. And all the freakin' locusts. I saw it when I was 7 and it didn't scare me at all. And I was SEVEN!!
Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2
I loved the original. It was completely disturbing to me and I kept watching it over and over again to see if I can find a "clue" or something new. It redefined viral marketing. So let's make a sequel that has nothing to do with the original and make a movie about ghost children. And to top it, let's barely show any ghosts and make an ending that makes no sense. It deserved to fail at the box office.
Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Aliens Mr. Lucas? Aliens? Are you serious? Industrial Light and Magic creates their worst effects to date in this movie. The CGI looks amateurish at best. And bringing in Shia Lebouf for the teen audience falls flat. The part that's upsetting is that out of all the really cool stories they could've came up with for Indy, Spielberg and Lucas settle one this one. Another instance where I act like a movie doesn't exist. The Indiana Jones South Park episode describes it best. Google it.
Alien 3 (Non-Director's Cut)
Now, the director's cut of this movie is pretty good. The theatrical cut is comical. The theatrical cut has plot holes galore and makes the characters unnoticeable and unlikable. The director's cut isn't a fantastic movie, but it is Citizen Kane compared to this one. I bet you Sigourney Weaver regrets shaving her head for this movie.
Scream 3
Kevin Williamson, who isn't that great of a writer to begin with, had nothing to do with this movie. They movie studio should've gave him as much money as he wanted. But they obviously didn't and they came up with this mindless garbage. The twist was one Ray Charles could've seen. Rumor has it they are making a 4th. After the 3rd, let's nix that idea.
Predator 2
What Hollywood exec had the idea to replace Arnold Schwarzenegger with Danny Glover. Let me tell you this....I am not a fan of Danny Glover. I hate that every movie he is in has his voice overdubbed. What's wrong with him? Is he mute or something? This movie could've been monumental but it was sci-fi channelish at best. The only cool thing about this movie....Gary Busey.
Spider-Man 3
Peter Parker dancing through the city streets and clubs. Nuff said.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation
Matthew McConaughey and Renee Zellwegger were in this movie. I know it's their single biggest regret in life. The movie was comedic and it didn't help having Leatherface in complete drag the whole movie. How can that be scary? The sad thing is that it isn't the worst part of the movie. It's Matthew McConaughey's remote controlled bionic leg he uses to crush people.
Return of the Living Dead 2
Let's make zombies funny. I blame Freddy Kruger for this one. Horror was fast becoming comedy due to Freddy Kruger's undeserved success. So every studio that decided to put out a horror film during the time of the Nightmare sequels decided to make them funny. Example #1...Return of the Living Dead 2. The first one was excellent. This one was pathetic. The biggest example of that? The zombie head that talked like a stereotypical black woman. And what's worse, the sequels kept getting more and more awful. Just stop it!!!
Poltergeist II: The Other Side
I remember as a kid my whole family anticipating this movie. Too bad it came nowhere near to the original. You can tell Spielberg had nothing to do with it. It's a shame too because most of the actors from the first movie return so it had potential. But you can tell the writers had no idea what to do with the flick. They decided to explore "the other side" where the poltergeists are. It could've been a good idea had they not made it look cheap. The old man Kane was kinda scary but that got trumped by the Tequila Worm Monster. The Other Side is obviously a trash bin.
Terminator 3
Although she was freakin' hot,the female terminator was completely uneffective. She wasn't menacing enough and provided no suspense what so ever. And although I like Nick Stahl as an actor, he is completely out of place as John Connor. Lame comedy, bad effects, terrible story, no action. This movie literally has nothing to offer.
Piranha 2: The Spawning
I'm a huge fan of the original that was pretty much a b-movie rip-off of Jaws. So I should've known that when I tried to find the sequel to watch it, I couldn't find it anywhere. I wish I quit looking. Piranhas attacking a resort in the Bahamas. And not just any piranhas, but FLYING piranhas. Sounds like I'm making it up, but I'm not. The most surprising thing was that it was directed by a young unknown director named James Cameron.
Beverly Hills Cop 3
"Take everything funny about the first 2 and do the opposite." That had to be the pitch the studio exec gave to have this movie green lighted. Eddie Murphy by this time had started his downward spiral into unfunny hell. Eddie couldn't hide his "Hollywood" and he makes Axel Foley look like he's wearing too much makeup. This sounds like I'm exaggerating but I'm not....there is not one funny scene in this movie. And this disaster of a movie contains the most ridiculous rescue scene I've ever seen that HAS to be seen for it's sheer unrealism. I miss funny Eddie. Why did you have to pick up that transvestite hooker, Eddie? Ever since then, you've tried cleaning up your image with bad comedies and lame kids movies. The only way Eddie can redeem himself is to do another stand-up. Until then, as far as I'm concerned, the hooker he picked up killed him and took his wallet.
Matrix Reloaded
I know Revolutions was worse especially with the whole underground rave dancing thing, but this one started the downfall. How can you mess up a groundbreaking monumental piece of cinema like The Matrix? Add in too much over your head philosophies and dialogue so bad that it made Keanu's other movies sound like Shakespear.
Star Wars Episode I: Phantom Menace
This movie proves George Lucas only cares about his wallet. He shit on the fans with this one. He waited over 15 years to make a boring movie with some of the worst dialogue I've ever heard. Not to mention he created the most annoying character ever put to film, Jar Jar Binks. Meeeesa thinksa this movie sucksa!
Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare
Freddy jumped the shark with Nightmare on Elm Street 4: Dream Master. That movie turned a sinister horror icon into Freddy Dangerfield. But this one was so embarrassing to watch that I only saw it once. This one had the most ridiculous kills ever seen in horror cinema. Super Mario death and death by hearing aid. They tried to cap it off by ending the movie in 3-D which was terrible. Freddy's Dead? Not quick enough.
Halloween Resurrection
As I previously stated, I hate everyone having to do with this movie being made. Busta Rhymes beating up Michael Myers is the most horrendous idea ever. And Michael Myers' mask looks like that cheap replica you can buy at Spencer's Gifts during halloween. The sad thing is that this movie was directed by Rick Rosenthal who also directed Halloween II (1981) which I adore. He must've developed a crack habit somewhere along the way.
The Godfather Part III
They should've left it alone. Godfather 1 and 2 were literal perfection. They couldn't be made any better than what they were and are true masterpieces. But then Hollywood got greedy and released this trash. Many blame Sophia Coppola's terrible acting for the downfall of the movie. But it wasn't just that. It's also the mafia/Vatican plot. It's ridiculous not to mention boring. Godfather 2 is the last Godfather ever made in my eyes. They made an offer I DID refuse.
Lost Boys: The Tribe
Corey Feldman needed a check bad. Obviously. I mean that dude would put his face on a box of Huggies if he could get money for it. The Lost Boys sequel was supposed to have been made more than a decade ago. But Haim and Feldman's drug issues made it impossible. So in a way, karma's a bitch. Honestly, I would've loved to have seen Corey Haim and Feldman reunite once again to face off against trendy bloodsuckers. Haim got dropped from the movie (except for a ridiculous and SAD cameo), and Feldman is barely in it. The ENTIRE movie from start to finish was terrible. I knew it was going to be bad but I gave it the benefit of the doubt due to my love for the first one. Why do I listen to my heart?
Jaws: The Revenge
A shark follows members of the Brody family from New Jersey to the Bahamas, hell bent on revenge for killing the previous 3 sharks. It's probably the most absured plot in movie history. Not to mention the shark coming out of the water on it's tail like a dolphin and roaring. Yes ROARING.
Batman & Robin
Joel Schumacher's sexuality should be questioned after this movie. Batman with nipples?? Need I say more?
Exorcist II: The Heretic
Some, but not me, consider The Exorcist to be the scariest movie ever made. I've only seen the sequel once but that's all it took. I don't remember a lot about it. I remember Linda Blair being hooked up to a mind reading machine. And all the freakin' locusts. I saw it when I was 7 and it didn't scare me at all. And I was SEVEN!!
Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2
I loved the original. It was completely disturbing to me and I kept watching it over and over again to see if I can find a "clue" or something new. It redefined viral marketing. So let's make a sequel that has nothing to do with the original and make a movie about ghost children. And to top it, let's barely show any ghosts and make an ending that makes no sense. It deserved to fail at the box office.
Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Aliens Mr. Lucas? Aliens? Are you serious? Industrial Light and Magic creates their worst effects to date in this movie. The CGI looks amateurish at best. And bringing in Shia Lebouf for the teen audience falls flat. The part that's upsetting is that out of all the really cool stories they could've came up with for Indy, Spielberg and Lucas settle one this one. Another instance where I act like a movie doesn't exist. The Indiana Jones South Park episode describes it best. Google it.
Alien 3 (Non-Director's Cut)
Now, the director's cut of this movie is pretty good. The theatrical cut is comical. The theatrical cut has plot holes galore and makes the characters unnoticeable and unlikable. The director's cut isn't a fantastic movie, but it is Citizen Kane compared to this one. I bet you Sigourney Weaver regrets shaving her head for this movie.
Scream 3
Kevin Williamson, who isn't that great of a writer to begin with, had nothing to do with this movie. They movie studio should've gave him as much money as he wanted. But they obviously didn't and they came up with this mindless garbage. The twist was one Ray Charles could've seen. Rumor has it they are making a 4th. After the 3rd, let's nix that idea.
Predator 2
What Hollywood exec had the idea to replace Arnold Schwarzenegger with Danny Glover. Let me tell you this....I am not a fan of Danny Glover. I hate that every movie he is in has his voice overdubbed. What's wrong with him? Is he mute or something? This movie could've been monumental but it was sci-fi channelish at best. The only cool thing about this movie....Gary Busey.
Spider-Man 3
Peter Parker dancing through the city streets and clubs. Nuff said.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation
Matthew McConaughey and Renee Zellwegger were in this movie. I know it's their single biggest regret in life. The movie was comedic and it didn't help having Leatherface in complete drag the whole movie. How can that be scary? The sad thing is that it isn't the worst part of the movie. It's Matthew McConaughey's remote controlled bionic leg he uses to crush people.
Return of the Living Dead 2
Let's make zombies funny. I blame Freddy Kruger for this one. Horror was fast becoming comedy due to Freddy Kruger's undeserved success. So every studio that decided to put out a horror film during the time of the Nightmare sequels decided to make them funny. Example #1...Return of the Living Dead 2. The first one was excellent. This one was pathetic. The biggest example of that? The zombie head that talked like a stereotypical black woman. And what's worse, the sequels kept getting more and more awful. Just stop it!!!
Poltergeist II: The Other Side
I remember as a kid my whole family anticipating this movie. Too bad it came nowhere near to the original. You can tell Spielberg had nothing to do with it. It's a shame too because most of the actors from the first movie return so it had potential. But you can tell the writers had no idea what to do with the flick. They decided to explore "the other side" where the poltergeists are. It could've been a good idea had they not made it look cheap. The old man Kane was kinda scary but that got trumped by the Tequila Worm Monster. The Other Side is obviously a trash bin.
Terminator 3
Although she was freakin' hot,the female terminator was completely uneffective. She wasn't menacing enough and provided no suspense what so ever. And although I like Nick Stahl as an actor, he is completely out of place as John Connor. Lame comedy, bad effects, terrible story, no action. This movie literally has nothing to offer.
Piranha 2: The Spawning
I'm a huge fan of the original that was pretty much a b-movie rip-off of Jaws. So I should've known that when I tried to find the sequel to watch it, I couldn't find it anywhere. I wish I quit looking. Piranhas attacking a resort in the Bahamas. And not just any piranhas, but FLYING piranhas. Sounds like I'm making it up, but I'm not. The most surprising thing was that it was directed by a young unknown director named James Cameron.
Beverly Hills Cop 3
"Take everything funny about the first 2 and do the opposite." That had to be the pitch the studio exec gave to have this movie green lighted. Eddie Murphy by this time had started his downward spiral into unfunny hell. Eddie couldn't hide his "Hollywood" and he makes Axel Foley look like he's wearing too much makeup. This sounds like I'm exaggerating but I'm not....there is not one funny scene in this movie. And this disaster of a movie contains the most ridiculous rescue scene I've ever seen that HAS to be seen for it's sheer unrealism. I miss funny Eddie. Why did you have to pick up that transvestite hooker, Eddie? Ever since then, you've tried cleaning up your image with bad comedies and lame kids movies. The only way Eddie can redeem himself is to do another stand-up. Until then, as far as I'm concerned, the hooker he picked up killed him and took his wallet.
Looks Like Iron Man is Getting on the Bandwagon
I personally think Iron Man 2 in 3-D is a bad idea, but obviously Paramount doesn't. Not that I don't like 3-D movies. It's just a lot of studios use it as a gimmick instead of actually using it for arts sake.
Source AintItCool:
Right now, there is a 1 minute demo of IRON MAN 2 converted to high quality digital 3D. I'm told this one minute is totally like Kim Basinger & Mickey Rourke in 9 1/2 WEEKS. HOT! Crazy Hot! Right now the Suits at Marvel & Paramount & now also Disney are considering this 1 minute.
At the same time that this is happening, they are fishing for bids with 3 different companies to see what the cost and time it would take to convert IRON MAN 2 to a complete 3D film. This same process is being done to Tim Burton's ALICE IN WONDERLAND - but if this comes to pass. What will this mean for the rest of Marvel's slate leading to THE AVENGERS? Will THOR & CAPTAIN AMERICA also go through this process? Or will they be shot from the get go in 3D.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Jon Favreau to Direct "Cowboys & Aliens"
Source Variety:
“Iron Man 2” is in the can, and now director Jon Favreau and Robert Downey Jr. might want to play “Cowboys & Aliens.”
Favreau is circling the DreamWorks/Universal project, which has had Downey attached since last summer. Imagine Entertainment’s Brian Grazer and Ron Howard are producing with Steven Spielberg, Platinum Studios CEO Scott Mitchell Rosenberg, and Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci.
A summer 2010 production start is eyed. DreamWorks and Universal will co-finance, and Paramount could opt in as distributor, through the exit agreement that Stacey Snider and Spielberg when they moved DreamWorks out of Paramount.
Kurtzman and Orci are rewriting the script with “Lost” exec producer Damon Lindeloff. The trio scripted “Star Trek 2.”
The film is set in the Old West, where cowboys and Native Americans battle in Arizona, until a space ship crashes and a new enemy emerges, equipped with superior technology. “ Cowboys & Aliens” is based on the Platinum Studios Comics graphic novel written by Fred Van Lente and Andrew Foley.
Cowboys_aliens_fleming That graphic novel was published in 2006, but Hollywood has been hot for the high concept project since the movie was first acquired by Universal and DreamWorks in 1997. That sale was made based on a one-sheet of a cowboy and a space ship, with Steve Oedekerk aboard to write and direct. The project subsequently moved to Columbia Pictures and Escape Artists, and then back to U and DreamWorks, and the script has been through at least seven writers or writer teams.
Favreau and Downey will work together again on “Iron Man 3,” which likely will be distributed by Paramount Pictures in its multi-picture deal with Marvel Entertainment, despite Marvel’s $4 billion acquisition by Disney. "Iron Man 2" bows May 10, 2010.
Favreau is repped by CAA. The studio declined comment.
The Hills Run Red trailer
I just got sent this trailer. It's a direct to dvd horror flick that comes out September 29. It looks pretty damn good.
The story centers on a film fanatic whose obsession with finding a complete print of an infamous slasher movie leads him and two friends into the backwoods where the film was shot. They realize too late that filming never ended -- and now they must survive a nightmarish onslaught or become part of the movie forever.
The story centers on a film fanatic whose obsession with finding a complete print of an infamous slasher movie leads him and two friends into the backwoods where the film was shot. They realize too late that filming never ended -- and now they must survive a nightmarish onslaught or become part of the movie forever.
Bad Boys 3 Coming??
Good news to me because I loved the other 2. I have doubts that Will Smith would want to do a third one though.
Source THR.com:
Columbia Pictures is developing a third installment of the high-octane "Bad Boys" franchise, tapping Peter Craig to pen the screenplay.
The hope is to have a script that would reunite director Michael Bay, producer Jerry Bruckheimer and stars Will Smith and Martin Lawrence. At this point, with the project in the early stages, none has a deal to return.
The "Boys" movies feature Smith and Lawrence as Miami detectives Mike Lowrey and Marcus Burnett, caught up in cases involving car chases and explosions.
The first "Boys," released in 1995, helped launch Bay as a director and Smith as an action star even though it was not a fire-stamped blockbuster -- it grossed $66 million domestically and $141 million worldwide.
The sequel, released in 2003 when Bay and Smith's stars had risen, grossed $138 million domestically and $273 million worldwide.
All parties have expressed a willingness to return if a story can be hammered out. One potential hurdle, however, would be the costly deals with the players.
Craig, repped by CAA and Management 360, co-wrote "The Town," which Ben Affleck is directing for Warner Bros. and which shoots in Boston next month. He is adapting anime "Cowboy Bebop" for 20th Century Fox and Keanu Reeves.
Halloween 3-D Set for Summer 2010
LOL! Wow! Not sure how I feel about this. At least Rob Zombie isn't attached to it.
Source LA Times:
"Halloween II" may not have won the box office this weekend, but Weinstein Co. is taking a lesson from the movie that did as it prepares a sequel for next summer.
The independent studio's co-Chairman Bob Weinstein said today that the 3-D sequel, titled, appropriately enough, "Halloween 3D," is in development.
The investment it takes to shoot movies in digital 3-D has proved particularly lucrative for horror films. For "The Final Destination," this weekend's No. 1 movie, theaters with at least one 3-D screen earned 3.25 times as much as those that showed the movie in 2-D only, according to distributor Warner Bros. That's substantially higher than for other recent releases. The equivalent 3-D multiple for last month's "G-Force," for instance, was only 1.7 on its first weekend. For July's "Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs" it was 1.4 andm for June's "Up" it was 2.2. January horror flick "My Bloody Valentine" earned 6.4 times as much from 3-D theaters as it did from 2-D on its opening weekend.
Weinstein said Rob Zombie, who directed "Halloween II" and 2007's reboot of the 31-year-old horror series, won't return for "Halloween 3-D." He said the studio is in negotiations with a new director, whom he declined to name, who has experience in horror and has a "different take" on the franchise."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
