My 21 Worst Sequels Ever

Since I still can't get over the sheer disappointment of Rob Zombie's Halloween 2, I decided to make a list of the worst and most disappointing sequels ever. Since you can't rate AWFUL they are in no particular older as they are all horrendous. Here it goes....

Matrix Reloaded

I know Revolutions was worse especially with the whole underground rave dancing thing, but this one started the downfall. How can you mess up a groundbreaking monumental piece of cinema like The Matrix? Add in too much over your head philosophies and dialogue so bad that it made Keanu's other movies sound like Shakespear.

Star Wars Episode I: Phantom Menace

This movie proves George Lucas only cares about his wallet. He shit on the fans with this one. He waited over 15 years to make a boring movie with some of the worst dialogue I've ever heard. Not to mention he created the most annoying character ever put to film, Jar Jar Binks. Meeeesa thinksa this movie sucksa!

Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare

Freddy jumped the shark with Nightmare on Elm Street 4: Dream Master. That movie turned a sinister horror icon into Freddy Dangerfield. But this one was so embarrassing to watch that I only saw it once. This one had the most ridiculous kills ever seen in horror cinema. Super Mario death and death by hearing aid. They tried to cap it off by ending the movie in 3-D which was terrible. Freddy's Dead? Not quick enough.

Halloween Resurrection

As I previously stated, I hate everyone having to do with this movie being made. Busta Rhymes beating up Michael Myers is the most horrendous idea ever. And Michael Myers' mask looks like that cheap replica you can buy at Spencer's Gifts during halloween. The sad thing is that this movie was directed by Rick Rosenthal who also directed Halloween II (1981) which I adore. He must've developed a crack habit somewhere along the way.

The Godfather Part III

They should've left it alone. Godfather 1 and 2 were literal perfection. They couldn't be made any better than what they were and are true masterpieces. But then Hollywood got greedy and released this trash. Many blame Sophia Coppola's terrible acting for the downfall of the movie. But it wasn't just that. It's also the mafia/Vatican plot. It's ridiculous not to mention boring. Godfather 2 is the last Godfather ever made in my eyes. They made an offer I DID refuse.

Lost Boys: The Tribe

Corey Feldman needed a check bad. Obviously. I mean that dude would put his face on a box of Huggies if he could get money for it. The Lost Boys sequel was supposed to have been made more than a decade ago. But Haim and Feldman's drug issues made it impossible. So in a way, karma's a bitch. Honestly, I would've loved to have seen Corey Haim and Feldman reunite once again to face off against trendy bloodsuckers. Haim got dropped from the movie (except for a ridiculous and SAD cameo), and Feldman is barely in it. The ENTIRE movie from start to finish was terrible. I knew it was going to be bad but I gave it the benefit of the doubt due to my love for the first one. Why do I listen to my heart?

Jaws: The Revenge

A shark follows members of the Brody family from New Jersey to the Bahamas, hell bent on revenge for killing the previous 3 sharks. It's probably the most absured plot in movie history. Not to mention the shark coming out of the water on it's tail like a dolphin and roaring. Yes ROARING.

Batman & Robin

Joel Schumacher's sexuality should be questioned after this movie. Batman with nipples?? Need I say more?

Exorcist II: The Heretic

Some, but not me, consider The Exorcist to be the scariest movie ever made. I've only seen the sequel once but that's all it took. I don't remember a lot about it. I remember Linda Blair being hooked up to a mind reading machine. And all the freakin' locusts. I saw it when I was 7 and it didn't scare me at all. And I was SEVEN!!

Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2

I loved the original. It was completely disturbing to me and I kept watching it over and over again to see if I can find a "clue" or something new. It redefined viral marketing. So let's make a sequel that has nothing to do with the original and make a movie about ghost children. And to top it, let's barely show any ghosts and make an ending that makes no sense. It deserved to fail at the box office.

Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Aliens Mr. Lucas? Aliens? Are you serious? Industrial Light and Magic creates their worst effects to date in this movie. The CGI looks amateurish at best. And bringing in Shia Lebouf for the teen audience falls flat. The part that's upsetting is that out of all the really cool stories they could've came up with for Indy, Spielberg and Lucas settle one this one. Another instance where I act like a movie doesn't exist. The Indiana Jones South Park episode describes it best. Google it.

Alien 3 (Non-Director's Cut)

Now, the director's cut of this movie is pretty good. The theatrical cut is comical. The theatrical cut has plot holes galore and makes the characters unnoticeable and unlikable. The director's cut isn't a fantastic movie, but it is Citizen Kane compared to this one. I bet you Sigourney Weaver regrets shaving her head for this movie.

Scream 3

Kevin Williamson, who isn't that great of a writer to begin with, had nothing to do with this movie. They movie studio should've gave him as much money as he wanted. But they obviously didn't and they came up with this mindless garbage. The twist was one Ray Charles could've seen. Rumor has it they are making a 4th. After the 3rd, let's nix that idea.

Predator 2

What Hollywood exec had the idea to replace Arnold Schwarzenegger with Danny Glover. Let me tell you this....I am not a fan of Danny Glover. I hate that every movie he is in has his voice overdubbed. What's wrong with him? Is he mute or something? This movie could've been monumental but it was sci-fi channelish at best. The only cool thing about this movie....Gary Busey.

Spider-Man 3

Peter Parker dancing through the city streets and clubs. Nuff said.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation

Matthew McConaughey and Renee Zellwegger were in this movie. I know it's their single biggest regret in life. The movie was comedic and it didn't help having Leatherface in complete drag the whole movie. How can that be scary? The sad thing is that it isn't the worst part of the movie. It's Matthew McConaughey's remote controlled bionic leg he uses to crush people.

Return of the Living Dead 2

Let's make zombies funny. I blame Freddy Kruger for this one. Horror was fast becoming comedy due to Freddy Kruger's undeserved success. So every studio that decided to put out a horror film during the time of the Nightmare sequels decided to make them funny. Example #1...Return of the Living Dead 2. The first one was excellent. This one was pathetic. The biggest example of that? The zombie head that talked like a stereotypical black woman. And what's worse, the sequels kept getting more and more awful. Just stop it!!!

Poltergeist II: The Other Side

I remember as a kid my whole family anticipating this movie. Too bad it came nowhere near to the original. You can tell Spielberg had nothing to do with it. It's a shame too because most of the actors from the first movie return so it had potential. But you can tell the writers had no idea what to do with the flick. They decided to explore "the other side" where the poltergeists are. It could've been a good idea had they not made it look cheap. The old man Kane was kinda scary but that got trumped by the Tequila Worm Monster. The Other Side is obviously a trash bin.

Terminator 3

Although she was freakin' hot,the female terminator was completely uneffective. She wasn't menacing enough and provided no suspense what so ever. And although I like Nick Stahl as an actor, he is completely out of place as John Connor. Lame comedy, bad effects, terrible story, no action. This movie literally has nothing to offer.

Piranha 2: The Spawning

I'm a huge fan of the original that was pretty much a b-movie rip-off of Jaws. So I should've known that when I tried to find the sequel to watch it, I couldn't find it anywhere. I wish I quit looking. Piranhas attacking a resort in the Bahamas. And not just any piranhas, but FLYING piranhas. Sounds like I'm making it up, but I'm not. The most surprising thing was that it was directed by a young unknown director named James Cameron.

Beverly Hills Cop 3

"Take everything funny about the first 2 and do the opposite." That had to be the pitch the studio exec gave to have this movie green lighted. Eddie Murphy by this time had started his downward spiral into unfunny hell. Eddie couldn't hide his "Hollywood" and he makes Axel Foley look like he's wearing too much makeup. This sounds like I'm exaggerating but I'm not....there is not one funny scene in this movie. And this disaster of a movie contains the most ridiculous rescue scene I've ever seen that HAS to be seen for it's sheer unrealism. I miss funny Eddie. Why did you have to pick up that transvestite hooker, Eddie? Ever since then, you've tried cleaning up your image with bad comedies and lame kids movies. The only way Eddie can redeem himself is to do another stand-up. Until then, as far as I'm concerned, the hooker he picked up killed him and took his wallet.