My Rob Zombie's Halloween 2 Review

Minor spoilers ahead...

Well um where do I start? Not exactly sure. How about, first off I am probably the biggest Halloween fan that I know. I have never met somebody that loves the Halloween franchise as much as I do. Not saying that there isn't someone more fanatical about the series than me. I'm just saying I haven't met them yet. So with that being said, I am overly critical of every Halloween that is released. Rob Zombie's Halloween, as stated earlier in my blog, was a decent flick to me. So going in to seeing the sequel had me thinking "can't be too bad". But in a way, it was.

Lets start off with the pros....
I personally like it when a sequel starts off where the first left off. Halloween 2 starts off right after Laurie Strode shoots Michael Myers. From there, she wanders the streets until she is picked up by the police and sent to the hospital. Of course, Michael finds her there and all hell breaks loose. Know this, the hospital scene is the best part of the movie. It had me all hyped up and excited to see what's to come. The way Rob shoots the scene where Michael is stalking Laurie in the rain was fantastic and showed how far Zombie has come as a director. Michael looked menacing and was true to form as he was closing in on a panicked Laurie. Then she wakes up, literally. Yes ladies and gentleman, it was a dream. The best part of the movie was a dream. From there I knew I was going to be in trouble.

One of the horror rules as stated in Scream is that when a sequel is made, you have to up the ante on the brutality and the body count. And boy, did Rob do that. When Michael Myers kills somebody, he doesn't just kill them. He mutilates them. Stabbing over and over again. Sometimes it seemed like he stabbed the same victim 300 times. Not to mention the decapitations where he literally saws a head off. I ate up every bit of it. I always felt Michael deserved to be shown in a little more of a hardcore light. In this aspect, Rob succeeded.

I have stated before that I love Rob's use of familiar songs during scenes. During the hospital scene where Michael is killing nurses, Knights in White Satin by The Moody Blues is playing in the background. It was completely appropriate and helped set the mood for the scene. There is a con to this also but I'll talk about it later. The pros stop here.

The cons...
Rob, as expected, completely rips off another movie. No not Halloween. No not Texas Chainsaw Massacre. But Friday the 13th. He uses the old "dead mother telling me to kill" motivation for Michael the way it has been used forever for Jason. Rob's wife, Sherri Moon Zombie, reprises her role as Michael Myers' mom. It's an obvious attempt by Rob to get his wife work. I understand he loves his wife, but is it really fair for us, the audience, to have to sit through out of place don't make sense scenes. Not to mention that she is the worst actress this side of a Troma film. She appears with a white horse supposedly showing Michael's motivation for killing. Every time she showed up on the screen, everyone in the theater laughed. I'm being serious. The scenes were so out of place that people obviously felt embarrassed they were watching it, so they laughed.

Now, Dr. Loomis returns as a fame seeking attention whore. This was the thing that pissed me off more than anything. For years Dr. Loomis was portrayed by Donald Pleasance as an iconic bad-ass character who was the only person on the planet that wasn't scared of Michael Myers. Alas, this is no more. Malcolm McDowell has been instructed by Rob Zombie to completely tarnish that whole legacy and turn Loomis into a complete asshole and unlikable character. Loomis serves no purpose in this movie. His entire part could've been cut out and you wouldn't have known any difference. Man, me even typing this pisses me off. Donald Pleasance is turning in his grave.

The ending sucked. Zombie tried to make it subliminal and what not but it falls flat. You can tell he didnt put a lot of effort into thinking of a mind blowing ending. I mean, it would've been nice to have a twist or something, but nothing.

This brings me to another con...predictability. There were no scares or jumps. When Michael Myers did jump out, you saw it coming from a mile away. A perfect example, without giving too much away, was Michael jumping out from behind a tree to attack a victim. Seriously, he jumps out from behind a tree. Wow Rob, you put a lot of thought into that one. The whole time I was waiting for a cat to jump out for a cheap scare like in every 80s horror movie.

Which bring me to another issue...no suspense. The movie lacked what Halloween is known for, edge of your seat nail-biting suspense. The only part this was displayed was during the phenomenal hospital scene. After that, it disappears completely. Which is a shame.

Also, the characters are completely unlikeable. Laurie Strode has been turned into a self loathing rebellious party chick?? Are you serious? The whole time I was hoping Michael would get to her and cut her up. She was that annoying. Where's Jamie Lee Curtis when you need her?

Surprisingly, Rob didn't use the Halloween score until the credits. Other than Jaws, the Halloween theme is probably the most recognized theme in the history of movies. And Rob chose to turn his back on it. This may be one of the reasons the movie just wasn't scary. It was brutal but not scary. I would've never expected Rob to not use the theme. Maybe that was his reason for doing so.

Last but not least, Michael Myers is a hobo. He is a full fledged, dog eating, ZZ Top beard having, raggedy hoody wearing hobo. Now this wasn't a HUGE con for me because I understand where Rob was going with this. He was trying to humanize Michael and make him a little bit more realistic. And I totally dig it. But, it was just really weird to see Michael Myers with a beard. He also grunts when he swings his knife now. As petty as that may sound, it was totally strange to see and hear. Just because Michael Myers has always been portrayed as a silent, stalking psychopath. It was just another aspect of Rob trying to make him more human. Maybe I shouldn't have put this in the cons. But I wouldn't put it in the pros either.

Bottom line...the movie fell flat. Personally, I think Rob should study the craft of film making before trying to make another movie. If they ever do make another Halloween, it should be done by someone other than him. I've said all along Rob Zombie the director is completely overrated and Halloween 2 proved my case.

Rob Zombie Remaking The Blob

Jeez Rob enough already. How about making something original? You ripped off Texas Chainsaw Massacre for House of 1000 Corpses. Then you ripped off Natural Born Killers for Devil's Rejects. Then you "re-imaged" two Halloweens. Now this? I admit, the Halloween "re-imaging" was needed due to Michael Myers not being scary anymore. You did a decent job. Now let's see if you can truly create something original. Good luck dude.

Source Variety:

Rob Zombie, whose Halloween II opens today, will write, direct and produce a remake of the 1958 horror classic The Blob, which starred Steve McQueen.

In the original, an object from space crashes into a field, containing a red blob-like substance that absorbs the humans it contacts and grows exponentially.

"My intention is not to have a big red blobby thing -- that's the first thing I want to change," Zombie told the trade. "That gigantic Jello-looking thing might have been scary to audiences in the 1950s, but people would laugh now."

Zombie will produce with Genre Co.'s Richard Saperstein and Brian Witten; original "Blob" producer Jack H. Harris; and Judith Parker Harris of Worldwide Entertainment Corp. and Andy Gould.

They are developing the project as an R-rated film that will cost around $30 million to make.

Production will begin next spring.

The Descent 2 trailer

If you haven't seen The Descent, stop what you are doing now and find a way to watch it. Trust me. I am jazzed about this one.

A Hint at Cloverfield 2??

Over at CHUD they came across a short video. There is no info behind the clip but people are speculating that it is a hint toward Cloverfield 2. I doubt if its real but with the way that they marketed the first Cloverfield, who knows. Anyways, I wish it were real. I was in the small minority that fell in love with the movie.

Source CHUD:
Okay, this is probably not a viral tease for Cloverfield 2. The camera alighting on the Cloverfield Boulevard sign is too obvious. It's probably not anything. But it's a slow news week and I like the way the video is cut together, so I'm sharing it with you, and maybe someone out there can figure out what this is - a hoax, a viral campaign for something else or maybe even the honest to goodness early stages of Cloverfield 2 (which seems a long way off, unless Matt Reeves isn't coming back to direct).

EDITED TO ADD: Some people wondered why I've run this if even I don't think it's real. I guess the answer is that it's interesting to see that Cloverfield remains enough in the popular consciousness two years out to inspire someone to fake a video like this. The film was immensely front loaded and interest dried up theatrically in a couple of weeks, but that doesn't mean the film didn't leave a mark. When you look back at movies time gives the ability to not only judge its quality with fresh eyes but also the context with which to judge its impact.

Thanks to Luke Mullen for the heads up.

Top 10 Spielberg Movies

Recent Spielberg news had me thinking about how great of a director he used to be ("still is" remains to be seen). So I decided to make my own personal top 10 Spielberg movies. If you disagree, discuss.

1. Jaws

Nothing beats this masterpiece that shows Spielberg's transition from film school student to acclaimed director. This movie introduced his genius. The mechanical shark malfunctioned and they couldn't get it to work right, so he didnt show it....and it works. As a matter of fact, had they shown the shark the movie would've been nowhere near as effective.

2. Saving Private Ryan

In my opinion, this is Steven's best shot movie. It is almost flawless. Spielberg's vision made war look horrific and realistic instead of polished as Hollywood tends to do. It's an in your face and gut wrenching film. When it was over you felt exhausted because it literally felt like you were in the trenches with the soldiers. It made Tom Hanks the great actor he is today.

3. Poltergeist

I know, Spielberg didn't direct this movie, but technically he did. If you ask anyone involved in the movie they will tell you Steven directed it. Studio politics put Tobe Hooper's name on it. Anyway, I remember seeing this movie with my parents in the theater. When we got in the car to leave (even though he'll deny it to this day) I remember my dad locking the car doors. Now, my dad is far from a punk. He's old school and hardcore. And for a movie to make my dad react like that, it had to be something special. It was.

4. E.T.

This was Steven's cash cow. It broke records and made a ton of money. Steven is always most comfortable when he is shooting his movie from the perspective of children. I will go on record as saying that no one knows kids movies better than Spielberg. He has a way of making audiences identify with his young characters. And yes, this movie made me cry like a girl. By the way, if you look at Poltergeist and E.T., artistically you can see the similarities.

5. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

My favorite of the Jones'. The bugs, monkey brains, hearts being ripped out of chests, the diamond mine chase, Shortround (what does that mean anyway). I loved it all. As a kid this movie blew my mind. Nobody thought Spielberg could top Raiders of the Lost Ark. Surprise suckas!!!!

6. Raiders of the Lost Ark

The introduction of Indiana Jones. The swagger. The fedora. The whip. This movie redefined the adventure genre and spawned countless pathetic copycats (still to this day). This movie really defines Spielberg's knack for storytelling. It also was pretty graphic for its time. The face melting scene was a big deal in the early 80s.

7. Jurassic Park

I remember taking a date to this movie. We were going to see another movie but we got to the theater too late. The only thing showing when we got there was Jurassic Park. I thought it was going to be a kids movie, but who cares. I was just wanting to get into a dark room to make out with this chick. Needless to say, not one kiss was involved. I was too busy having my eyes glued to the screen. The realistic looking dinosaurs put my jaw on the sticky theater floor. I went into the theater with zero expectations and walked out with raising the expectations on all other movies after it. This movie was and is still freakin' awesome.

8. Schindler's List

Spielberg surprised everyone with his dramatic turn. Known for putting out movies about aliens, ghosts, and dinosaurs, Steven throws a curve ball and releases a movie about the holocaust. The movie which starts very slow is definitely worth the wait. Who knew Spielberg could churn out drama?

9. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

I have a friend who thinks "sci-fi and fantasy movies are retarded". His only exception to the rule...Indiana Jones. Now if a movie can make my close minded buddy like it, it must be the real deal. This one is his favorite of the series. Its my third favorite (Crystal Skull doesn't exist to me). The movie didn't rely on effects as much like Temple of Doom and focused more on story. My favorite part of the movie is seeing Indiana Jones as a kid. This movie proves that Shia Lebouf ain't no River Phoenix.

10. Empire of the Sun

The introduction of Christian Bale to the world. Which, in my opinion, is a double edged sword. His movies are good but he cant act to save his life. Empire of the Sun is another instance of Spielberg putting the audience in the perspective of a child. This movie doesn't get the credit it deserves. I'm not sure why. The only thing I can think of is that the main character is British. And we all know how close minded the American movie audience can be. Its a shame though because it is a good movie and shows Bale being a better actor as a child than an adult.

Spielberg to Develop Crichton's Pirate Latitudes

Sounds like a bad move personally. The "Pirates" genre should be left alone for a while. Spielberg needs to pick and choose his films wisely because lately he has been tarnishing his legacy.

Source USA Today:
USA Today reports that Steven Spielberg is developing a film out of a posthumously published novel by the late Michael Crichton - "Pirate Latitudes," an adventure story set off the coast of Jamaica in 1665.

Screenwriter David Koepp, who adapted Crichton's novels for Jurassic Park and its sequel "The Lost World," also has signed on to write the script. Spielberg plans to produce and is considering directing, says the newspaper.

DreamWorks Studios describes the novel, set for release Nov. 24, as the story of "a daring plan to infiltrate Port Royal, one of the world's richest and most notorious cities, and raid a Spanish galleon filled with treasure."

"It's a mission movie, and we see it through the prism of what it might have been like to live on the island during that time," says Stacey Snider, Spielberg's partner in DreamWorks and the company's co-chair and CEO.

DreamWorks plans to wait for Koepp's script before setting any formal schedule for the project. "This is a reunion movie that taps into all three of them, and their love of high adventure. Just like old times," Snider says.

Fox Remaking Heathers

They are now starting to remake movies that are almost in the 90s. Wtf is wrong with Hollywood?? In my opinion, they already tried to remake Heathers. They called it Jawbreaker.

Source Variety:
Fox is developing a contemporary take on the 1989 Christian Slater/Winona Ryder feature Heathers, reports Variety.

The dark comedy will be adapted for TV by writer Mark Rizzo, with an assist from "Sex and the City" alum Jenny Bicks.

The characters from the movie are all expected to be there -- Veronica Sawyer (played in the movie by Ryder), J.D. (Slater) and the "Heathers."

The original movie revolved around Veronica as she navigates a clique of mean girls -- all named Heather -- and rebels after meeting J.D., the new guy at school. Soon, the Heathers start "accidentally" dying at the hands of Veronica and J.D., who cover up the deaths by faking them as suicides.